Lupin's Story
by Bakey-Beans
Summary: Remus Lupin's life from when he recieves his letter for Hogwarts, meeting his friends and the years to come at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
1. Chapter 1

**I unfortunately am not J.K Rowling so I don't own these characters**. **Hope you enjoy ^.^**

A young boy with a heavily scarred face and arms sat staring out of the sitting room window lazily nodding in reply to his mother's rant about a young woman in a bookshop that had pushed past her earlier in the week, it may have seemed rude for him do so yet this boy's mind was focusing on things far more important than a trivial rant his mother had said several times since the incident occurred. This boy was focusing on a letter. A letter he had been waiting for, for as long as he could remember. Possibly the most important letter he would ever receive. The letter telling him he had a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

This young boy's place at Hogwarts was always a grey area, this boy never knew whether he would be able to attend this school because he had a secret, a dark secret that he had hoped no one except his family and the professors at Hogwarts would ever know. This child was a werewolf and had been so for most of his life. Bitten by an unknown werewolf that once had a quarrel with this boy's father, the bite was assumed as retribution for the argument; some may have seen this as fair. Some as in the werewolf that had bitten him, possibly because he was numb to pain, he had to be.

It had been hours since this boy had sat down in anticipation for an owl to deliver this letter, he knew his plight was futile yet something had him holding on. A noise came from the fireplace in the opposite side of the small house which meant the boy's father had come home. The young boy went running to the fire to see that his father had not returned home but a tall, elegant woman with fierce grey hair tied in a bun under a purple, pointed hat was standing before him. The woman opened her mouth as she gazed upon the boy. "Lupin? Remus Lupin?" She questioned. "Y...Yes" the boy uttered, barely audible. He was not scared of the woman he was rather too excited to say actual words. "Hello Mr. Lupin, my name is Professor McGonagall. Do you know why I'm here?" said McGonagall as she subtly examined the clawed curtain beside her. "Are... Are you from Hogwarts?" Remus asked hopefully rather than knowingly. McGonagall tore her eyes from the curtains and looked at the boy "Yes Mr. Lupin I am. May I speak to your parents? If they're here" Remus gestured toward the kitchen where his mother was, still talking about the girl that had pushed her in the shop. Remus stifled a giggle as he saw his mother unknowingly gesturing to no one. McGonagall cleared her throat loudly getting the attention of Remus' mother. "Mrs. Lupin?" "Yes. Maggie's fine." Remus looked over at McGonagall and wondered if anyone had ever asked her to nickname them, he assumed not. "Yes. Well, my name is Professor Minerva McGonagall, from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I'm here to talk to you about your son and the place that was secured for his at the school." Remus shuffled awkwardly a knot beginning to form in his stomach. "Remus dear if you wouldn't mind waiting in the sitting room." Said Maggie gesturing toward the room Remus had recently vacated. Remus obeyed and disappointedly walked into the sitting room. He knew this was it. He was never going to Hogwarts.

It seemed like hours before his mother and McGonagall had returned from the kitchen, after a quick glance at the clock he had seen to his surprise it had only been several minutes. Maggie Lupin shot a loving look at Remus who plastered a fake smile on his face only for a moment then Professor McGonagall turned to him and handed him a letter. She watched him turn it over and break the seal unfold the parchment and then she was gone without so much as a goodbye, Remus didn't mind he was too focused on the paper he was holding in his trembling hands.

Remus stared at the paper not taking anything in, not wanting to, not yet, he wanted to savour this moment forever the knot in his stomach dissolved as he read the perfectly written words printed in emerald green writing.

HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY

_Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore_

_(Order of Merlin First Class, Grand Sorc. Chf Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. Of Wizards)_

_Dear Mr Lupin,_

_We are pleased to inform you that you have a place at Hogwarts School of witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find you have enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl by no later than 31 July._

_Yours sincerely,_

Minerva McGonagall

Deputy Headmistress.

Remus read the letter over several times more especially the first line (he read that line well over ten times). Maggie Lupin looked at her son with tears in her eyes usually a strong woman just pleased to see her son so happy that the scars on his face seem to have faded away. Remus waited in the sitting room for his father to come home clutching the letter like it was gold and he was a poor man. After hours of constantly checking the floo for a man to appear Remus dozed off before a dream could form in his mind he was awoken by a tall scruffy man whom he resembled very much. John Lupin was a ministry official working with magical creatures, he was a tall scruffy man with crow's feet and wrinkles on his forehead, he was a young man however due to the stress of having a son with lycanthropy his hair had gone prematurely grey causing him to look much older than that of the average 33 year old man. John smiled at his son with his charming grin that could make Professor McGonagall blush. Remus jumped out of his seat and into the arms of the gleeful father ready to catch him. Excitedly Remus gushed about getting into Hogwarts his parents standing listening to every word even though Remus was repeating himself several times, his parents stood over him beaming, and there could never have been two people more happy and relieved than John and Maggie Lupin. "So..." said John in a husky voice looking at his son then his wife. "When are we off to Diagon Alley?" "July say... 30th?" said Maggie. "Leaving it a bit late aren't we?" John asked. "Remus is growing, this way he won't have to get sized twice." Said Maggie looking over her son. John muttering something along the lines of _'are you a witch or not?' _Remus giggled, he would have giggled at almost anything right now. Maggie glared at her husband then looked lovingly at her son "How does that sound Remus not too late is it?" "I don't care how late we go, I'm going to Hogwarts!" Said Remus dreamily gazing out of the window, he had not realised how late it had gotten the sky was already full of stars. Even though he didn't feel tired Remus bid his parents goodnight and went to bed stuffing the letter under his pillow July 30th could not have come sooner.


	2. Chapter 2

After months of reading and re-reading his letter, checking over every single detail, Remus became more and more excited that is just a few months he would be off to Hogwarts, the school he had dreamed of going to ever since he could remember. Remus looked at a homemade calendar on his nightstand looking at the dates only a few more days until the full moon, although Remus didn't need a calendar to tell him it was coming, he knew, he could feel it approaching. It made his sick that he was so used to it. He put the moon out of his mind he didn't want to think of that now.

On July 29th, the eve of his trip to Diagon Alley Remus read his letter and recited his memorised shopping list, after carefully placing the letter on his nightstand beside his calendar Remus looked over himself in the mirror, not something a usual boy of eleven does, however it was safe to say that as a werewolf and a wizard Remus Lupin was no usual boy. Even though looking at his reflection in the mirror made Remus upset even more so every time he looked upon the scars, Remus began making this a habit, looking at his scars getting used to them. Some scars had been there for years, some a mere few months, none of them were welcome on the pale skin they inhabited. Remus' mother Maggie had once been a very capable healer in her career, when Remus was inflicted with lycanthropy his mother had resigned from her job to take care of him full time. Maggie was always unable to rid the boy of his horrid scars, although Remus hated his scratches he always felt as though they were nothing compared to the mental scars he inflicted himself with, not being able to look at his bare body in the mirror without wanting to scream, boys his age were worried about getting scraped after falling off their bikes, Remus was scared of inflicting himself with wounds that would never heal.

'Remus' called a sweet voice from downstairs

'Yes'

'Dinner's on the table, quickly now before it gets cold.'

Remus dashed to the door, he had lost himself in the disfigured reflection and forgotten how hungry he was. The boy got halfway to the door before he realised he was completely naked; he quickly dressed and ran down to the kitchen where a lovely meal was waiting for him.

Remus sat opposite his mother and began grazing on the feast Maggie had laid out for him. Remus looked up from his meal and to his surprise noticed his father sitting in his usual spot at the table. Remus was not very observant today, he reassured himself it was because he was excited to go to Diagon Alley tomorrow not that a full moon was approaching. Remus put the full moon out of his mind and focused on his meal and his father's sudden appearance.

'Dad. Good day at work?' Remus sputtered spraying the table in mashed potato.

John Lupin chuckled and patted his son on the back. 'Yeah son. It was.'

'That's good' Remus remembered to swallow before he spoke this time

'Diagon Alley tomorrow. Excited?' Maggie said looking up to her son then back at the mess he had made and was lazily cleaning up the sprayed potato.

''course 'e's excited' John said as he stuffed several vegetables in his mouth at once.

'John! Chew then speak'

''Least I can keep it in my mouth' chuckled John gesturing towards the potato stain on the table cloth.

Remus felt a bit embarrassed and helped his mother clean up _his _mess. After dinner was over and a few of his father's work stories were told Remus excused himself and went to his room. Remus made his way to the door sighed and opened it up to a cramped room with a small bed, nightstand, full length mirror and wardrobe. Remus allowed himself one look toward the mirror before he turned it around and collapsed on the bed in exhaustion. Even though he hadn't done anything all day besides read his letter and badger his mother about which shop they would go to first he was exhausted but Remus wasn't surprised during this time of the month he was always tired. Remus looked up at the moon thinking about tomorrow and how exciting it would be, but thinking about how it was one day closer to his transformation. Remus got up and closed the curtains in frustration, he put the moon out of his mind for the third time in a matter of hours.


	3. Chapter 3

Remus woke early on July 30th, he couldn't sleep all night waking up several times thinking it was morning until he looked out the window disappointed to see dark sky. Early in the morning around 6:30 Remus came to the conclusion that he was not going to be able to sleep any longer, he was too eager. Looking over at the calendar Remus noted that there was only two days left until the full moon. A low grumble came from Remus' stomach; he had been so excited about today that he hadn't eaten much of his dinner the night before. Remus figured if he dressed quickly he might be able to catch his father before he left for work so he dressed in plain clothes and made his way downstairs, careful enough so as not to wake his mother but swift enough so he could hug his father goodbye.

John Lupin sat in a dumpy armchair near the fireplace, waiting a time suitable enough to leave for work. Casually taking sips of his tea and flexing his right hand, looking at the thick scar that had been sloppily placed upon it. From the man that turned his son from a boy that was carefree and playful to an introverted young man that was forced to grow up too quickly due to lycanthropy.

'Remus?' John said surprised at his son's presence.

'I couldn't sleep.'

'I didn't think you would, a big day like today, I wouldn't be surprised if you hadn't slept a wink all night.'

Remus felt his empty stomach growling, his father must have noticed too as he walked to the kitchen and waved his wand over a small gathering of bacon, the smell made Remus feel hungrier than he thought he had been. John gestured toward the table and placed a large pile of bacon sandwiches in front of his son.

John Lupin checked his watch, wished his son good luck and kissed Remus' forehead goodbye. With a flash of green flames from the fireplace and he was gone. Leaving his son eating bacon sandwiches at 6:45 in the morning.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry it's been so long and that this chapter was really short. I promise that I'll have a new and hopefully longer chapter up in the next few days.<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

Remus heard the soft fizzle of the flames dying down, peering into the sitting room confirming that his father had gone; Remus wondered how long his mother would sleep and decided that he would wait in his bedroom until she awoke. Walking towards the stairs Remus looked towards a small calendar resting on the kitchen bench he only had to wait one month until he was off to Hogwarts, excitement rushed to him quickly followed by panic, what would happen if everyone found out? Would they shun him? Accuse him of all the things that went wrong? Of course they would he was a monster, a beast, a beast that didn't deserve to go to a school full of normal, magical children. Remus resolved to never share these feelings with his mother or father; he would bottle them up so as not to worry anyone with his problems. They were _his_ problems after all.

After several minutes of sitting in his bedroom going over the supply list one more time, even though he knew it better than the back of his hand it was somewhat soothing and reassuring reading the letter over and over again, Remus' mother knocked softly on the door then opening it slowly and peering in to see the boy sitting and reading. Remus looked up and gave a shaky smile, a mixture of nerves and excitement caused his smile to falter, either his mother did not notice or did and decided against bringing it up.

'I see you've had your breakfast' she said in her unfailingly calm voice.

Remus smiled in response, he felt this wasn't enough but the only thing on his mind worth bringing up was Diagon Alley and he feared that the only thing that might come from discussing this would be him flailing around the room in pure excitement that this day had finally come.

'Good. We'll be leaving just before lunch, taking the floo. Excited?'

'Yes!' Remus replied a little too quickly.

Mrs. Lupin chuckled. 'Good, good. Make sure you have all of your things ready.'

At 11:45 Remus sat staring at the old fireplace just as he had been doing for the past hour, tapping his fingers in impatience.

Mrs. Lupin walked towards her son patting him on the shoulder and taking hold of the small pot containing thin powder. Remus took a handful of the powder and stepped in the fireplace, how odd this must have looked to someone not as used to floo powder as he was, he wondered and then with a confident voice Remus said;

'Diagon Alley!'

As Remus was sucked into the grate the green flames whirling around his head, he was spinning until he felt a cold hard ground, and he was there. He was in Diagon Alley.

A short while after, Remus' mother shot out of the fireplace, dusted herself and her son off and then began muttering what sounded like a shopping list.

'I'll just need to go to Gringotts first. Go to Madam Malkin's and start getting fitted, I'll only be a few minutes.'

'Okay' Remus said relieved that he didn't have to go into Gringotts and see the judging eye of the Goblins.

Remus walked around for a little while until he spotted the sign for the fitting shop. Remus stepped beyond the threshold of the shop and spotted a large full body mirror, panic struck him. Would he have to strip down to nothing but his under wear? Would they notice they scar? (Of course they would. He thought) Would they ask questions? Remus turned his head towards the door, he was fast, he could do a runner. These thoughts were interrupted by a darkhaired witch.

'Only be a moment love.' She said to him with a smile.

The witch walked back to her current customer, a young boy, he looked the same age as Remus but much more confident. The boy had nice robes, far fancier that Remus would ever be able to afford, he had neat but longish black hair and light grey eyes.

'Stop fidgeting!' Squawked a tall thin pointy woman which looked to be the boy's mother. A small boy possibly a few years younger that the boy being fitted stood behind his mother looking pleased that his brother was being yelled at. Remus took an instant disliking to this woman.

'Sorry' Said the boy, more towards the witch fixing his clothes rather than to his mother.

Remus couldn't help but stare at this family and he hoped that the pointy woman would not turn and see him.

The witch fitting the boy broke the silence.

'So what year are you going into? Do I need to change the colour?'

'First ye...' The boy was cut off by his mother

'Sirius will be entering his first year. No you will not need to change the colour however you will soon need to change the colour to green when Sirius gets into Slytherin.'

'Not if I don't get into Slytherin.' Said the darkhaired boy.

WHACK! Remus didn't know what had happened until the boy's mother spoke up

'You will get into Slytherin, no son of mine will be anything less'

The boy opened his mouth in response, but closed it and went to rubbing the back of his head where his mother's hand had hit him.

The witch measuring the boy looked flustered and quickly took down his measurements and helped him out of his robe and began discussing the price of the items with his mother. The boy Sirius put his clothes back on and looked at Remus. Remus wished he was made of glass. Sirius swaggered over to Remus and held out his hand.

'Sirius Black'

'Remus Lupin'

'First year?'

'Yeah. You?' Remus knew the answer but asked only out of fear the conversation would die out.

'Yeah.' Sirius jolted his head towards his mother and younger brother

'I'm not like them' Sirius said almost defensively

Remus nodded, he could tell that this boy was nothing like his family, he had a different feeling about him. Remus was about to open his mouth when Sirius' mother walked over and pushed her son through the door, not even acknowledging Remus' existence.

'Maybe I'll see you on the train'. Sirius said as he was being rushed out of the shop

'Yeah, I hope so.'

'Hey, maybe we'll even be in Gryffindor together.' Sirius said an obvious dig at his mother.

The boy's mother stopped and looked at her son, a look that could have made McGonagall run away with wee dribbling from her robes. Sirius' mother grabbed her son and practically threw him out of the shop, with her younger boy the obvious favourite happily walking behind.

Remus knew Sirius would pay for what he said; he just didn't know what price.


	5. Chapter 5

After waiting for what seemed like hours, Mrs. Lupin came bustling into Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions, and Remus was about to be fitted by who he assumed was Madam Malkin. Remus knew it was only a matter of time for Madam Malkin to ask if he would remove his clothes, for the past few minutes he was trying to lead her in arbitrary conversation to put of taking off his clothes revealing his disgustingly scarred body.

'Matilda.' Mrs. Lupin said with a greeting nod towards Madam Malkin.

'Maggie Thomas! It certainly has been a while hasn't it'

'Yes it has, well, it's Lupin now, John made an honest woman of me years ago, this is my son Remus. It'll be his first year.'

Madam Malkin looked swiftly away from Mrs. Lupin and toward Remus, her smile seemed to make things better somehow, it did made Remus feel much more comfortable taking his clothes off, yet still not comfortable enough to actually do it.

'Well, Remus let's get to it.' Madam Malkin said clapping her hands together then turning and reaching for some soft black material.

Remus stripped down to his underwear not daring to look in the mirror, or into the face of Matilda Malkin. Madam Malkin turned back looking at Remus surveying his size and then slowly putting on his garment and began pinning it in the desired places.

'_She wasn't even bothered by the scars!'_ Remus thought, he was right Matilda Malkin was not bothered by the scars in fact she barely noticed them at all, she was very focused on her work.

After about 10 minutes, the fitting was over and Remus was allowed to put his clothes back on and with a flash the garments were paid for and Maggie and Remus Lupin were out of the shop and were heading toward the Apothecary. Remus was thrilled, the part that he was dreading for weeks was over and even more, it didn't even matter!

As Remus entered the Apothecary his eyes were quickly drawn towards a small dried up Grindylow in a glass jar which was apparently worth 7 Galleons. Remus' thoughts of wondering what anyone could possibly want with a dried Grindylow was interrupted by a small chunky, (to put it nicely) mousey boy knocking over said dried Grindylow, the small boy looked up at his also fairly... large parents and quickly hid behind his mother as the owner of the shop was not pleased.

Remus tore his gaze away from this boy and looked at another boy, a much greasier boy. This boy was busy eying off the potions held near the back of the room, he looked oddly suspicious but Remus figured he was just curious. The greasy boy had thick, slick black hair and wore an ugly black tunic that looked a few sizes too big. The greasy boy (Remus had now subconsciously nicknamed him 'The Greasy Boy') took one of the potions off the shelf and began smelling the lid, he only stopped when a small, thin, red headed girl happily skipped over to him and dragged him away.

Remus took his eyes off of the odd pairing and began looking for his mother, she was already in the line waiting to pay, lined up behind the chubby, mousey boy and his parents. The mousey boy was still hiding behind his mother trying to be inconspicuous a feat in which he failed miserably. Soon the items were paid for and Remus and his mother were out of the shop and on their way to Flourish and Blotts, a shop Remus was _very_ excited to go to.

As soon as Remus stepped into the shop he breathed deep, the smell of books was like a drug to him, it could lift his spirits even if it was the eve of his transformation.

'I hope that silly little woman that pushed me isn't in here today; if she is I'll give her a piece of my mind.' Maggie said her voice bursting with annoyance.

Remus' mind wandered back to the first time he had heard that story, he must have heard it 50 times more since then and every time he heard it, it changed. Quietly chuckling to himself, Remus broke off and went in search of the items on his booklist, which he knew was futile, he knew he would end up looking at a book that he could not possibly need for school and then begin reading whilst his mother looked for all the books he needed.

'Hey! Remus!'

Remus recognised this voice at once, it belonged to Sirius Black the boy he had met at Madam Malkin's just this morning. Remus turned and saw the boy, the voice may have belonged to him but the face certainly did not. What had once been a fairly handsome boy with deep grey eyes and smooth ivory skin was now a slightly less handsome boy with a big purple bruise on the side of his face, Remus knew the price of their encounter now. Remus hoped he was not staring, Sirius must have noticed when he pointed to it and said;

'Umbrella's hurt'

Remus laughed but stopped just in case the boy wasn't joking, he was because soon after he joined in and began rubbing his face.

'I can see. Sorry about that.'

'Don't be sorry for their ignorance' Sirius nodded towards his mother and younger brother. 'I hope I'm not in Slytherin, that'll show 'em.'

'Imagine the beating you'll get for being in any other house.' Said Remus the words slipping out of his mouth before he could stop himself.

Sirius started laughing and playfully punched Remus on the shoulder.

'I like you, Remus, You're not a prat, like I thought you would be.'

Remus was unsure of whether or not to be offended, he decided not to be and began to laugh along with Sirius.

'I should probably go' Sirius said and he stopped laughing as he quickly realised that this meant he would have to back to his mother.

'Well I'll see you on the train. Have uhh... fun until then.' Remus held out his hand and felt as though Sirius was right for thinking he was a prat.

Sirius gripped his hand and smiled, turned while letting out a deep sigh and walking towards his mother. Remus he could have sworn she said;

'Was he a pure-blood? Did you find out? NO! Well why not? Of course it matters you idiot.'

Remus let out a small laugh which was soon choked by panic, if Mrs. Black was so worried that her son was talking to someone who may or may not be a pure-blood how would she feel if she knew her son was talking to a werewolf? How would Sirius feel? Remus had gotten his hopes up thinking that he could have a friend, no one would want to be friends with a beast like him. Well maybe that mousey boy, but only out of desperation. Remus made a note to look for this mousey boy on the first day, maybe he could have friends. Maybe.


	6. Chapter 6

The encounter with Sirius left Remus slightly dazed, he knew that there were wizarding families that were not as open minded and as kind as his own, but he never quite knew that there would be a woman as awful as Mrs. Black. Remus felt a deep pang of love for his mother, not many people would treat their son as well as she did, loving him no less with the knowledge that he was a monster. With the thought of his transformation looming in his mind, his scars began to ache, as if the beat of his heart lay beneath each of them. Remus shook his head, he had things to do, books to buy. However no amount of stories, or spells or things to learn could push the pain that he would undergo the following night out of his head.

Remus and his mother walked through Diagon Alley hours after they had finished their shopping, looking for distractions as the night that wait for them was not going to be a pleasant one. Remus kept meeting the eyes of young children around his age and he wondered how many of them would be going to Hogwarts with him for the first time this year. He wondered how many of them he would be sharing a common room with, how many of them already had a place at this school and how many of them never would.

Hundreds of posters littered the streets of Diagon Alley, warning the visitors that there are Death Eaters on the loose. Remus never really thought about Death Eaters, not on a daily basis like most of the wizarding world, he always thought that he was far worse than anyone of them. Although he had come to the sudden realisation that maybe that's what He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named would like, a beast with no inhibitions, a monster with no control, someone he could relate to.

'Ice cream?' Maggie said waving her hand in front of Remus in an attempt to take him from his daydream

'Will they hate me?' Remus asked unsure as to whether he wanted to hear the truth.

Maggie looked stunned, her eyes fixed upon her son, her son who was tormented by his own mind.

"Who... ?"

"The people at school"

"Wh-... Why do you think someone would hate you?"

"That's not an answer"

"No. No it's not, and no they're not going to hate you, I can't think of any reason why they should"

'_I can think of a few'_ he thought, however his mother's confidence made him feel more at ease, the way only a mother can.

Remus woke in the early hours of the morning in a heavy sweat; it was an unseasonably cold July day with a trace of condensation appearing on the windowpane. He sat up in his bed, holding onto his knees, hugging them closer forcing them to give him the comfort and company he felt he was too old to receive from his sleeping mother, rocking back and forth in way that would have made him seem mad. He reached for the glass of water on his bedside table, his trembling fingers knocked it onto the floor, as thick mats of fur began forming around his once thin fingers, his nails grew at sharp angles and his clothes began tearing themselves away from his pale flesh, that began growing thick, dark hair at an unnatural rate, his spine contorted and his bones lengthened, he let out a piercing howl, that if not for the vast amount of enchantments surrounding his bedroom would have woken the entire neighbourhood. The beast that was once a boy leapt from the bed, clawing at pillows, and soon the mattress, he began knocking over his possessions, pausing only to see his reflection for a brief moment in the mirror that only a few hours ago would have been able to contain his full image.

When all of the items in the room were destroyed, the wolf began to slash his own flesh, a punishment that fit a crime caused by someone else. Howling loudly, the beast looked toward the moon, the cause for this mess and collapsed into an unconscious heap, to be woken as a small boy, in the midst of disaster.

**Sorry I haven't been updating lately, I'll try to get back on track and update a bit more regularly from now on, but if I don't then I'm still sorry. Enjoy this chapter, I know it's short but I couldn't think of anything else to put into it, with it dragging on. Have a good day! ^.^**


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